"As you get older, you realize what you want & what you don't want,

especially with the relationships that you prefer not to have"
                  artist: keyshia cole      upscale mag   feb 2013  

What Keyshia just described...
is a really, really difficult balance to learn.

The needs of others---What's best for you---
What's best for you---The needs of others---

After all, most people don't intentionally
start out their relationships

looking for emotional pain.

 

But there are some things we do

that can guarantee the same script.

 

Like two people who start a relationship,

each because they like the way the other

fills out a pair of blue jeans.

(it's all good when both are on the same page)

A physical value.

 

But when the rules get misunderstood...

and no one looks for evidence

that there are other values matching up,

someone could get hurt.

 

For ex, if kicking it alone

if being financially independent

is very important to one person

                                           
and it's more important to the
other one to find someone to
take home to mama, well that's an admission
pass to Heartbreak Hotel.

Usually it's the person with the
most expectations that gets hurt.

 

MORE EXPECTATIONS

MORE CHANCES FOR DISAPPOINTMENT

 

values matter

 

Keyshia & Daniel make a great couple.

 They both like the way the other one looks,

they both apparently enjoy having nice (luxury) things,

AND they are both very clear on

what's most important to them.

YOUNG OR OLD,

YOU CAN

BELIEVE THIS

 

It's a lot easier to decide whether a relationship is good for you when you are clear on

what's most important to you.

 

BiggaFiggaMedia

Entertainment that Educates

"I never knew that you could dance like this,

you make a man wanna speak spanish,

                               artists: Shakira & Wyclef    song: hips don't lie

Yeah man, I get it.
That senorita has you ready
to learn a whole new language.
I understand.
And in today's world you better find
& grab your own motivation wherever you can.

For example, maybe your best friend
just decided that she wants to lose weight.

What's her motivation?
The current boyfriend.
How do I feel about motivation like that?
More power to her.
Traditional approaches to self improvement might require you to spend days, weeks or maybe even years looking for that inner "whatever".
But not here.
I believe the best place to start
is right where you are.

If that's where she is right now,
more power to her.
After all, what prevents most people
from changing things about themselves
that they don't like?
Believing that the payoff won't be
worth all of the work involved.
Ever see Eddie Murphy in Nutty Professor?

One day a student (Jada Pinkett-Smith)
tells him she is a big fan of his.
Instantly the 400 pound science professor decides the payoff
(a relationship with Jada) will be MORE than worth the effort to lose weight.
He finds his motivation & begins
working out daily to lose weight.
That's how it all starts.
BELIEFS--BELIEFS--BELIEFS
when positive can help grow
a person, a company or a country.
            BiggaFiggaMedia
          Entertainment that Educates

 

"A sweet dream or

 a beautiful nightmare"
                     artist: beyonce   song: sweet dreams

Did you know?
Your life experiences have no meaning...
except for the meanings
you decide to give to them.

For example, eyewitnesses to a car wreck are often unreliable sources for what happened because you get several different versions of what happened.

The guy was obviously

 going too fast!

No...I saw the whole thing.

 She cut him off!

I thought he was traveling

at the correct speed myself.

 

This happens because our brains

filter what we see.

Each brain loaded with its own biases, values, feelings, etc, etc.

 

So what comes out is "cut"

chopped up,

loaded with our "stuff".

 

Any sports fan knows that what happens has no meaning except for the meaning they decide on.

 

Did you see that Miami Heat-

Chicago Bulls game last nite?

 

Was that $%$# or what?

 

If the game went against your favorite team,

you decided it meant disaster.

 

If your team won...well it was great.

 

Learning how to use this to your advantage can go a long way in helping you to overcome adversity.

 

Beyonce Superbowl: Singer Mocked And Praised For Muscly Picture ...

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/.../bad-day-at-the-office-for_n_2639183.htm...‎

Get my meaning?

Feel like everybody's

 got an opinion about you?

Take what you can use,

and the  rest?

 

BiggaFiggaMedia

Entertainment that Educates

"I wanna get with you tonight
but I cannot babygirl

And that's the issue

Girl you know I miss you"
artist: soulja boy   song: kiss me thru the phone 

It's a new world without order.
Kids today have pretty much unlimited access 24/7 to videos, movies, television & who knows what. 

And it's clearly affecting their values & beliefs.

"I ask parents if their child pretends to talk on a cell phone, almost all of them do"
pediatrician--NY Times  Aug 9, 2012 
Johnny's First Phone: A Guide for Parents - The New York Times

Balance that's what is missing.

                                                    Balance that's what is missing.

 

The folks over at FaceBook and Google
are brilliant beyond belief, no doubt about it.

But I'm predicting there are no grand designs,
no settings, no parental controls, no opt in, opt out
options that will ever ever ever replace self- control.

 

Balance that's what is missing.

From the inner city to Wall Street back to Main Street, ambitious blogger
 James Pharris is ready to further expand into sponsored ebooks,
with advertising &  multimedia format. Willing to create & facilitate
 workshops on a volunteer basis for your favorite charity/organization
in exchange for funding for equipment upgrades.
Let's talk 513-349-8617

The year is 1993 and rising 19 year old star Tyra Banks gets her first major television role.

She plays Will Smith's girlfriend "Jackie" on the new hit show
Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

And just like the year 1993...
this year is going to come and go.

What will you be doing 1 year from now?
Will you be doing better?
Will you be doing worse?

Either way Father Time keeps on.

The year is 1997 and protecting the Earth from the scum of the Universe is a job that only
 Will Smith in the movie

Men in Black can handle. 

And yes, just like the year 1997...
this year is going to come and go.

blackplanet.com/singapore

What will you be doing 2 years from now?

blackplanet.com/singapore

 

Will you be doing better?

Will you be doing worse?

Of course, no human really knows what's

 going to happen in the future.

Here's the point.

It's better to have goals than it is to just

 leave your life "up for grabs".

 

It's better to have a direction of your choosing,

 rather than automatically

"going with the flow".

 

It's better to CREATE what you want,

 

rather than just wishing on a star.

 

They all come and go.

Birthdays,

holidays

good days,

bad days.

 

You can cross your fingers & hope

OR---OR---OR---OR

or move in a direction of your own choosing.

 

BiggaFiggaMedia

Entertainment that Educates

"Why so shallow? I'm just asking,

What's the pattern

 to the madness?

artist: B.O.B feat Taylor Swift   song: Both of Us

 

Johnny can read,

in fact he's a 4.0,

better watch out though,

cause his stack still blow.

james pharris

Fashion designers understand dress patterns.

Top NFL players learn  to understand
their coaches play patterns.

Those who seem to struggle with the same problems over & over should learn to understand their emotional patterns.
For example,
what do you reach for when you feel bored?
Do you reach for a comedy, a cookie,
a cigarette, or a carbine?
Your answer reveals an emotional pattern.

For my earlier lack of understanding about something so important to my well being I'm blaming the doctor who smacked me on the behind on the day I was born. haha

Why didn't she give me an owners manual!
Noooo. She sends me home with this wonderful human brain, more powerful than any computer AND no owners manual.

It took time & work but today I better understand my past emotional patterns. (Reached for everything but the carbine).
PART TWO OF MY LIFE---
PART TWO OF MY LIFE

It started with me understanding that I am in control of my brain & not the other way around.

"And you feel like you're just another person getting lost in the crowd, way up high in the nosebleeds"
                                   b.o.b & taylor swift
Today I have much more control over my brain.
At times I still feel up in the nose bleeds. 
But trust me.
Today I celebrate.
In part one of my life,
I couldn't even find the stadium MAN.

"If you've only seen videos,
and me being crazy,

& hearing little things here and there then obviously you're not going to have any idea who I really am "

                            nicki minaj   eurweb.com  3/26/13

Right about now Nicki Minaj is the one co-starring in a movie called The Other Woman coming soon.
Others in the movie include established movie stars
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton.
Meanwhile,
who do you think you are?

Could your beliefs about that use a make over?
(If so you're in the right space)

Is YOUR view of YOU limited?
(I'm a screwup)    (I'm a pill popper)   (I'm all ducked up)

Or do you have the Belief of Champions?
Beliefs like...
where you are headed in the future
isn't limited to where you are right now.

You see, Nicki Minaj started out in life just like many of her fans and the very people who can't stand her.

                                                  BlackPlanet.com/Romania

Watching tv & movies, probably wondering

what does she have that I don't?

 

You see, while it's true that each of us

 have our own natural physical limitations

 (I can only be in one place at one time). 

My ability to imagine   mySELF following the yellow brick road

 is

UNLIMITED    UNLIMITED   UNLIMITED.

______________________________________________________

Did you know?

 

In high school, Raven Symone

 was very unpopular with classmates.

Ambitious & focused people most often attract all types of reactions to them and it's not all good.

 

Here's betting there are more than a few people in Nicki's past who laughed at her, her chances, and 

her alter ego's,  which helped her cope.

"I'm a bad ____

(it rhymes with rich...snitch)

Who does she think she is?

Is she this? Is she that?

Well no one needs to wonder who Nicki is today.

She is someone living the life of her dreams.

What about you?

Does your belief in your ability have a lid on it?

Or will you decide to take the lid off of it?

__________________________________________________

Thank goodness,

not all of us will choose to become movie stars.

The road to personal success means

 different things to different people.

(Being a failure and having a failure OR two are worlds apart.)

 

And it all gets started between your ears,

not at gate 7 at your local airport.

BiggaFiggaMedia

Entertainment that Educates